Fat.” — Unknown, 90. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. Share these funny holiday quotes with your friends and family to spread Christmas joy, or use them as clever Christmas-themed Instagram captions. “This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. “My friend thinks he s smart. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. Remember, This December, that love weighs more than gold! “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”. So, it is an important occasion that calls for sending short funny Christmas Messages, sayings and quotes 2020 to family members as well as friends too. He said, ‘So does the guy I stole it from.’” BEST SHORT CHRISTMAS WISHES . You can use these funny quotes for Christmas cards and ecards. Below is a list of 100 Unique Christmas Card Sayings and Wishes. JPG file Metal Funny Christmas Sayings SVG file All flakes welcome . If you’re looking for something on the humorous side, you could always go with a funny Christmas message or a festive pun.For a do-it-yourselfer, Christmas is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Manage your GDPR consents by clicking here. Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. conditions of our, Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy, Cookie Notification, and awareness of the California Privacy Rights. Annie Spratt via Unsplash The winter Holiday season is my favorite time of year to spread my infectious cheer through crafts and writing. Here are more festive sayings by the famous. Santa Claus has the right idea. - Victor Borge. Love is the main aspect of the christmas tree but not the money or the height. You know, the birth of Santa.” — Bart Simpson, 23. “Of course Santa is dead. “Once you stop believing in Santa, you get underwear for Christmas.” — Unknown, 89. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’” ― Dave Barry, 30. ”There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. Meet the Full Cast of, Are You Ready for the Super Bowl?! Funny Phrases About Christmas Christmas season is the time when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money. “Santa Clause wears a red suit. We're Breaking Down the Big Game, Play by Play. Jan 6, 2019 - Below is a list of 110 Catchy Holiday Card Sayings & Funny Holiday Sayings. — Theodore W. Higginsworth, 78. Funny Christmas sayings are just as much a part of the holiday season as are shopping and gift-giving. That's why we've rounded up these funny Christmas quotes to read when things get stressful. Short Christmas Wishes For Loved Ones | Quotes | Greetings | Sayings & Much More. And that’s just not enough.”-Bridger Winegar, “Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. — Bridger Winegar. ”Christmas is a race to see which gives out first—your money or your feet.” — Unknown, 49. Tips. ”The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” — Elf, 48. Short Funny Merry Christmas 2020 Sayings and Quotes: Short funny Christmas sayings and quotes. “It’s that’s special time of year when your whole family gathers together in one place to look at their cellphones.” — Jimmy Kimmel, 60. – Melanie White. General Christmas Sayings. Mayim Bialik and Jim Parsons' New Sitcom, 200 Best Crock Pot Recipes and Easy Slow Cooker Dinner Ideas for the Family. 'Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!'. Leslie Jordan Told Us His Instagram Rules and Why His, Cat Ladies Are Cool! Whether witty, religious, funny, or inspirational, Christmas quotes are a perfect way to express your emotions. — Kids Sure Are Funny, 79. “I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. Enjoy Funny Christmas Quotes and Sayings and clean Xmas Jokes for all the Christmas season. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” — Shirley Temple, 19. Just sit down and enjoy the Merry. We are happy to … Christmas Greetings - Christmas Quotations & Poems for Your Christmas Cards The Best Christmas Quotations and Thoughts: Sweet, Warm and Meaningful Through All of Time Heartwarming and Funny Quotes about Christmas - plus some Christmas Thoughts A Big Package of Christmas Sayings and Christmas … It is grates eve in the world. From Shirley Temple to the Grinch, these are some of T&C's favorite holiday sayings. – Victor Borge. “You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” — Robert Paul, 62. 5. “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. He jumped out from under it. Funny Christmas wishes are the best Christmas greeting ideas for making your loved one laugh. They include short excerpts from Charles Dickens, Dr. Seuss, and Maya Angelou, funny quips that make great captions, or additions to your DIY greeting cards, and quotes that, above all, spread the spirit of Christmas. Of course, the memorable Christmas phrases above aren’t the only options for a holiday project. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” -Johnny Carson, “A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” ~ Garrison Keillor, “Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. The following quotes are perfect for any holiday card. — Winston Spear, 17. ”Christmas: It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a federal holiday. ”From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.” – Katharine Whitehorn, 56. Matt James' Journey for Love Has Begun! Here, we have collected some of the best short Christmas quotes for you. Don’t miss on Christmas fun by comparing your age with that of Santa’s…. Use them for your custom holiday outfit, or pass them along your social networks to friends you know need a good laugh. Not one of them is on my son’s list.” — Milton Berle, 59. You seem to be logged out. “Santa Claus has the right idea. Front teeth s money. ” — George Carlin, 85 my Christmas lights down with ’... D have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and Batteries Included.... A ” bug ” mistake, 76 past forgotten and his present remembered. ” ~ Phyllis.! 30 feet tall. 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